Golfer Newbies

Top Ten Signs You’re Golfing Too Much

* When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter
* The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.
* You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
* You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.
* You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
* You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
* Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
* You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife
* You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
* Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.

© Clark Peterson author of The Goober's Guide To Golf

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